Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you can’t get nobody being you. You got to lie to get somebody. You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative!

If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.