Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched.

In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.

Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to read with all this light.' Nobody give a fk about dads!

Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.

I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.