Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones.

I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

I live way below my means.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!'