Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

There's a difference between racism and "I don't know any better. I'm clueless." Racism is like, "I'm trying to make you feel bad." That's racism.

I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.

George Bush hates midgets.

Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.