Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.