Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.