Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if you got technical. A lot of this is just selective outrage because honestly, the audience are the ones that tell us that something shouldn't be spoken. The audience lets us know. And I've never, in my almost 30 years of being a comedian, seen a comedian continue to tell a joke that the audience doesn't respond to. I've never seen it.