My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. Oh my God, they're $4 million in the hole.

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. Oh my God, they're $4 million in the hole.

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"