You can't have anything valuable in your house. Niggers will break in and take it all! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. It's like our own personal civil war. On one side, there's black people. On the other, you've got niggers. The niggers have got to go. I love black people, but I hate niggers. I am tired of niggers. Tired, tired, tired.

Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies.

Hollywood's just not funny.

Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.

You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.

Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"