You can't have anything valuable in your house. Niggers will break in and take it all! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. It's like our own personal civil war. On one side, there's black people. On the other, you've got niggers. The niggers have got to go. I love black people, but I hate niggers. I am tired of niggers. Tired, tired, tired.

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.