Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"