Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.

My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.

Money is the best lotion in the world.

So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.