Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.