The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'

Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, "I can't even put gas in my plane!"

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel.

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.