So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'

You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded?