You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!

The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden.

Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.

I live way below my means.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.