Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.

Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV.

We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You've got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it's immune to and what breaks it down.

My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.

Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you can’t get nobody being you. You got to lie to get somebody. You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative!

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Pretty girls have problems too.