I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV.