I pray there's a God...I know there's an Oprah.
When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky.
When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you!
If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.