Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

I learned pretty quickly that it's your WORK ETHIC that LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD. Education helps, but I've met failures who have Ph.D.s. I believe the hardest worker is always going to win.

No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.