So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.