When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.

Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones.

I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.