I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel.

Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes.

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.