I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who might make an album then take three or four years off to recharge their batteries. Comedians tend to work straight through and they get stale because of that. Even when I didn't have a lot of money I never ever did it unless I had something new to say.

If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.

Men do not settle down. Men surrender.

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.

There's math, and everything else is debatable!