People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.

Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, "I can't even put gas in my plane!"

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.