When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.

I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.

I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.

See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!