You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Hollywood's just not funny.
I pray there's a God...I know there's an Oprah.
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.