As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

I've always had a sneaking fondness for Martin Van Buren. He wrote his autobiography, you know, and never once mentioned his wife. Now that's what I call a mans man.

The customer is always right! John Wanamaker must be turning in his grave. If you're a customer today, you're an intruder.

It has long been a theory of mine and I am known, if I do say so, for my long theories that authors, generally speaking, are rotten letter writers.

Support your right to arm bears.

As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is the Republicans are Socialists and the Democrats are Bolsheviks.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.