It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.