There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.