There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!