There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.