Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What kind of FBI agent are you?

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.