I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'
And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Why are there so many trees in the jungle?
Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!