I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.