Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.