Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.