NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.