Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Let me play a Man in a scene.

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.