Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Every song a hit, every hit a smack!

NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.