Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.