If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!