If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.