For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.