The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.