The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

What kind of FBI agent are you?

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.