Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.
Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.