Every song a hit, every hit a smack!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?