Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

What kind of FBI agent are you?

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!