Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.

What kind of FBI agent are you?