Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.