You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

What kind of FBI agent are you?

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.