He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.