He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.

What kind of FBI agent are you?