He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.