When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.