When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting.

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'