Let me play a Man in a scene.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favorites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.