What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

What kind of FBI agent are you?

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.