I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.

Why are there so many trees in the jungle?

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!