I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Why are there so many trees in the jungle?

I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!