When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?