You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.