I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'
After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.
My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.
We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.