Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Every song a hit, every hit a smack!