Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?