Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.