Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

What kind of FBI agent are you?

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.