As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favorites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.