The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

What kind of FBI agent are you?