The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.